Their Barbaric Yoβ

One of the new words we learned our first few weeks here was "yob", as in "one who acts in a yobbish manner;" where "yobbism" appears to include a wide range of obnoxious behaviours, such as littering (flytipping), smoking and intoxication, or supporting Liverpool. Generally, Maidenhead is comparatively free of these stains on the social fabric, but I've found that one danger of working late in Slough is that I might have to wend my way home through a train network infested with yobs (heading to a night out, going home, or just loitering endlessly inbetwixt, I couldn't say).

These tend to be 15-to-25 years of age. Girls do a lot of squealing and screaming, ignoring the fact that the person they're shouting at is only 5' away. This is particularly striking in an otherwise empty shopping mall (often used as shortcuts from pedestrian streets to rail), where wincing bystanders can at least experience some truly intense multipath echolocation. Boys do their share of shouting too, although often in a grunting, slurred chant that I have come to associate with (forgive me, sport fans) the local tradition of "football".

It is an odd dialect which I can only analyze through phonics, as I have absolutely no idea what anyone is saying, and only assume it to be a variant of English because that's where I'm standing. The language is not with a certain musical savoire: delivered in a rhythmic sing-song, these calls are filled with rolling low tones designed to carry for distance, like the lonesome wail of a lovelorn humpback, punctuated by strident barks to signal greeting, warning, accolade, or a summons for ale.

As a xenolinguist, I would be endlessly fascinated; as a commuter, I just want to get to bed.

Betjeman's Revenge

Well, perhaps the good poet had the last laugh after all, as yesterday explosions rocked the Slough trading estate he so despised:

Royal Berkshire Fire and Rescue Service spokeswoman Nicole Targett said: "It was quite an explosion. Metal panels were blown out across the road into the car park opposite and the force smashed windows of other premises nearby."

"The sound of the explosion was heard for miles around.

Puneet Jindle, who works near the estate, said: "I'm located in Windsor, a few miles away, but we still heard the bang and saw a plume of smoke coming from Slough."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/berkshire/7758293.stm

The Tough Coughs up Dough in Slough

We named this blog after London, because everyone knows where that is. However, the capital of Berkshire, as well as the town where I commute to work every day, is actually called Slough. Most American audiences won't be familiar with the city (unless they're fans of the original UK version of The Office). However, when you mention it to someone in England, you are wont to receive a concealed flicker of displeased recognition, as though they were working out how to politely disengage after you'd just announced that you had the pox.

Without doubt, the most legendary expression of this national distaste is embodied in John Betjeman's infamous poesy, Slough ("Come, friendly bombs...").

Showing admirable pluck, the Slough Borough Council schools recently (2006) held a competition asking local students to write a rejoinder to the bitter and somewhat unwarranted tirade, and I must say I find the winning entry to be a much more authentic and accurate description of the town as a whole:

Horrible bombs don’t fall on Slough,
Because it’s fit for humans now,
This town’s much better, and how,
Old poem die a death!

Sikhs, Muslims and Christians too,
All are welcome and so are you,
All come here to live life anew,
One town, one breath.

A centre of learning you can see,
With a library and university,
A life’s training for you and me,
Work hard, get paid.

Ice skating, swimming and fitness places,
Playgrounds, parks and open spaces,
Children laughing, smiling faces,
Getting together, friendships made.

Queensmere, Observatory and High Street,
Cafes, restaurants where you can eat,
See a film at the cinema for a treat
Brand new Tesco open now.

Trains from Reading, London and many more,
Cars and taxis along the M4
Buses drop you at your door,
Climb aboard and come to Slough.

Joanna Okolotowicz
Montem Primary School
http://www.slough.gov.uk/news/articles/archive/11558.aspx

I haven't been able to tell if the Heart of Slough project is still considered on-course, or if its funding and schedule have already been impacted by the global financial situation. It would be nice to be here for the opening of that proposed new library!

(BTW, if the title of this post left you mired in confusion, it's a reference to a Dr. Seuss book :-)

Slough Pathfinding

My prospective employer was good enough to fly me over to Slough last week for a day of interviews, bookended by a day on each end for house-hunting in the surrounding environs of Slough, Maidenhead, and Windsor. Click the image to see more pics.

Note that "Slough" rhymes with "plough", not tough, cough, or dough, let alone "slew" :-) For context, find the building shown on a map of Slough; Maidenhead is just to the west, Windsor to the south, and London to the east.